[Ginia comes sauntering toward the fountain a minute or two later. Not deliberately late, but there is a small bag of baked goods in her hands. She was on time, but walking by the bakery, the smell of fresh good wafting out, it's a wonderful distraction.
She greets Erwin with a smile and a friendly wave, offering the bag. Warm croissants and fresh blueberry muffins, you know you want one.]
[ His greeting is a smile as well. He wasn't expecting breakfast, but he'll certainly take it. He reaches into the bag and picks out a croissant. It's still warm, which is especially nice in cold weather like this.
Erwin can say this much, at least: as suspicious of it as he remains, the food here in Luceti certainly tastes better than the military rations at home. ]
[Ginia bows her head and takes out a muffin for herself. The bag rests in the crook of her arm as she takes out her cellphone. Her thumb moves swiftly over the flat screen as she types out a message, showing it to Erwin once she finishes.]
I have something to ask you and Levi. It's entirely optional, but it would be beneficial to me and of possible use to the two of you.
[ The first bite of the croissant proves that it tastes as good as it smells. Erwin chews and swallows thoughtfully as he reads Ginia's message. She's been nothing but helpful so far; he would gladly help her in return, especially if it was with something that might prove useful. ]
Of course. I am always interested in your suggestions, Ginia. What is it?
[Tap, tap, swipe, tap. Ginia types swiftly as she takes a bite of the muffin. Mmm, warm, buttery, blueberry goodness. Once she finishes typing, she turns the screen back toward Erwin.]
I've been helping the Welcome Center stock the new feather stations out in the woods once a week. I already did it this week so it's set, but would you two mind helping me out next week? There are two south of the village in the woods and two in the north, closer to the farmlands and mountains.
It takes me half a day on horseback so splitting the task would be helpful.
[Ginia's not sure how much Erwin knows about the area surrounding the village, so it's either known knowledge or an enticing bit of information and offer to explore.]
It's why Kakashi goes up to the roof often, usually to have a drink or two. Even in the dead of winter, he escapes from his apartment to spend some time watching the quiet village. Looking up at stars that aren't really stars.
Tonight isn't any different. Kakashi has a glass of shochu, and had brought up the bottle as well. He stands near the ledge, one hand resting on the cold concrete, next to the uncapped bottle, and takes a slow sip from the glass. ]
[ Erwin doesn't normally come up here at night. He's been up several times during the day to look at the village from a higher vantage point, but this is the first time he's been to the roof with the intent to look up rather than down. He makes some noise as he ascends the stairs and opens the door, mindful of those in the building that may be sleeping, but certainly not bothering to be stealthy.
He stills, however, when he steps outside. Kakashi's back is distinctive enough that he recognizes him immediately, and the bottle next to him indicates that he is likely here to unwind. ]
Good evening, Commander. [ Erwin's boots tap against the rooftop as he takes a step forward, closing the door after him. ] I hope I'm not interrupting.
[ The sound of footsteps in the stairwell had been enough to alert Kakashi that he was about to company and give him more than enough time to take another sip of his drink before pulling up his mask. Erwin's voice, however, gave him reason to glance over his shoulder at the other commander, setting his glass down on the ledge. ]
If I was worried about being interrupted, I probably would've stayed inside instead of coming up here.
[ In other words: you're not interrupting at all. ]
[ It is that, but Kakashi was here first. Only polite to ask. He's glad to join him by the ledge, resting his forearms atop it. But when the bottle is presented a moment later, he shakes his head. ]
No, thank you. [ He adds, to ensure that Kakashi doesn't feel slighted by his refusal: ] I very rarely drink.
[ In his youth Erwin had done his fair share of drinking. He and Mike and Nile would visit a particular pub together, where he and Nile had both pursued a sharp and witty barmaid (Nile much more seriously). But Erwin made the decision soon after joining the Survey Corps that there was no place in his life for anyone else. He'd decided to dedicate himself to his goals and only to his goals. He stopped visiting the pubs. It was a distraction he didn't need, and alcohol wasn't something he missed. By the time he became Commander he'd ceased indulging in it almost completely. An attack could occur with no warning whatsoever, just as the attack on Wall Maria had, and, more recently, the sudden appearance of Titans within Wall Rose. If he were unable to lead on such an occasion because he'd been drinking, it would be his men who paid the price. He's also been a target in the past of assassins hired by prominent figures in the central government, and he is well aware that there are many in power within the walls still eager to see him dead, his radical ideas and practices laid to rest with him. He can't fail to be alert to that danger as well.
But what keeps him from accepting Kakashi's offer most is also what keeps him from doing much of anything else for himself that one could consider recreational: in his heart, he doesn't believe that he deserves happiness, or even so much as a brief reprieve. How could he possibly reward himself when he has been personally responsible for so much grief?
When it comes down to it, Erwin Smith doesn't like Erwin Smith very much. He has a hard time accepting good things for himself, let alone doing them. It's like pulling teeth to get him to readily enjoy something for his own sake.
He dosn't begrudge Kakashi in the least for doing so, however. While they are both commanders, they are different men, with different circumstances. It isn't for Erwin to decide what another man should or wants to do for himself. ]
It just doesn't hold much appeal for me.
[ His expression remains neutral, though he shifts his gaze from Kakashi down to the ground below, though there isn't much to look at when the village is dark. ]
The realization that they'd been returned to Luceti had slammed into him as though he'd been dunked in icy water. His head began to throb shortly thereafter, as memories flooded the forefront of his mind - not just what had happened before, but the ones from the shift they'd just experienced apparently as some sort of sickening welcome back party.
It's a little difficult to reconcile all at once. His eyes had gone straight to Erwin's arm and his lips had gone tight and silent, all the way back to where their previous home in Luceti had once been. It's still available, as Ginia had thankfully assured them, and as soon as they're both through the door Levi locks it, and moves to put both their journals in the spare room and closes the door behind him.
He moves back into the kitchen, wordlessly, taking a glass from the cupboard and filling it with water at the sink. He rarely drinks, if he can help it, but right now he's sorely tempted to find something strong.
The short walk to their apartment had been wordless. Though the details aren't clear, Erwin knows he and Levi have been using this apartment for the last week, had moved in again after arriving during the ill-timed shift--but notably, Levi's designated room sits mostly unused. When Erwin enters his own while Levi puts their journals away, there are signs of Levi everywhere, from the meticulous arrangement of items and clothing to his scent on the pillow.
Erwin sits there for a moment, on the edge of his bed, as he listens to the sound of running water in the kitchen. He remembers Luceti well, though it has been some time, for him, since his departure. There are more important things to discuss with Levi at the moment than the way they'd woken this morning together on the sofa, Erwin's arm curled tight around Levi's waist--more important things than the lingering smell of Levi's soap on the bedsheets, or the way that he remembers so clearly looking at him last night, more drunk than he's been in fifteen years, meeting his eyes and then kissing his mouth, uncaring and heedless of who might see, or what it might mean for them.
He'd decided the last time they were here that it couldn't mean anything. They'd agreed on that. But Luceti, it seems, has other ideas.
Erwin stands after a moment, going to the closet to retrieve a fresh change of clothes, though he'll wait until after he's washed to put them on. He instead sets them on the bed before joining Levi in the kitchen, taking a glass for himself and filling it with water as well before leaning back against the counter.
"How are you feeling, Levi?"
He's speaking softly, but his words still sound too loud and too hollow in the mostly-empty room.
The water seems to be doing only so much to relieve the tightness in his throat and the dryness in his mouth. He remembers clearly the last time they'd been here, the things they'd done and he'd still not been ready to accept openly. The memories make him shift, his hand clenching harder around his glass a moment.
The forces in Luceti seem to not give a shit about it, though. It's impossible to ignore now - especially when he can still very clearly remember the warmth of Erwin's chest pressed to his back that morning.
He swallows, closes his eyes and takes another three gulps of water.
Erwin raises his own glass to his lips, watching Levi carefully over the rim. He's tense. He has good reason to be. "For once," Erwin says humorlessly, "I am inclined to agree."
He finishes his water before he says anything else, attempting to stay a rapidly worsening pounding in his head. He hasn't felt like this since he was a trainee. The empty glass clinks when he sets it down on the counter beside him.
The problem with having a stronger drink is that they didn't actually have any alcohol stored in the apartment. Since neither of them really drank, it hadn't been something necessary to keep on hand.
Levi's beginning to think that might need to change.
His glass is empty, so he refills it, taking a moment to think over Erwin's question. Much had happened since the last time he'd been here, and that is clearly true for Erwin as well, given that his arm is now missing. It's entirely possible that their positions may be switched, now, and Erwin may have memories of events that haven't yet happened for Levi. For all they knew, there could be weeks or months or even years separating them.
Finally turning to look at Erwin since they entered the apartment, he gives him a long, measuring look before answering.
"My squad is currently tracking down where Eren and Historia are being held after they were captured." He pauses, as though he thinks better of what he's about to say, and says it anyway.
Erwin's thought process with regards to their timeline had been very similar--but as it turns out, they've somehow managed to come from much the same point, it seems. Levi's words hang heavy in the air, but Erwin doesn't hesitate to acknowledge them.
"You heard correctly." He meets Levi's eyes directly now that Levi is finally looking at him. He doesn't want to leave any room for doubt between them. "It hasn't happened yet, but certain officials are determined to see it done very soon--momentarily, in fact." His hand reaches up, thumb brushing along the line of his cheek to the skin around his left eye, still swollen. It's improved, he thinks, and the cuts on his face have all closed, but he certainly doesn't look as he had this last week. He had been healed only for the duration of the shift, it seems. Though he makes no comment about it, it is obvious that he hasn't been well treated during his imprisonment.
Levi isn't sure if without what had happened in Luceti if he would've felt the same icy feeling slide through him upon hearing - with almost absolute certainty - that Erwin is in fact going to die. It's not as though he hasn't thought about the possibility before, not as though they hadn't gone into this plan knowing it was a possible outcome. But somehow being upon the precipice of yes, he really will die presses hard upon his chest.
There's so much tension in him that his shoulders begin to ache, and he finally drops his eyes. He folds his arms across his chest, jaw tight as though wired shut. Words seem to stick in his mouth, not trusting himself to speak.
In a way, Erwin had been anticipating silence as a response from Levi. No matter how prepared he may have been for the eventuality of Erwin's death, facing it as a certainty rather than a possibility must be sobering. Even without the things that have occurred between them in Luceti, Erwin is well aware that he is important to Levi (and Levi to him). He is the person Levi trusts and reveres above all others, the one he has chosen to believe in, to follow. By dying Erwin is foisting a terrible weight onto Levi: the responsibility to fulfil the duties he will leave behind, and to carry on his ambitions. And Levi will, he thinks, need to bear the burden of his sins as well before all this is through. But Levi has accepted some of this weight already, and he will have help from Hange. If Erwin didn't believe in the two of them then this plan of his would be meaningless.
Erwin doesn't want to die, but he will do so without hesitation if he must. Not only does Levi realize this, but Erwin knows that he feels the same way.
There is still a chance, however, that a plan Erwin had set in motion some time ago may yet prove fruitful--but there is no way to tell, and Erwin doesn't want to give Levi false hope. Instead he approaches Levi, lays his hand on his shoulder. "Levi," he murmurs, but nothing else. They need to talk. If Levi makes himself distant over this, that won't happen.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[Written | January 24th]
[Aka hi Erwin, care for a legitimate excuse to check out the tunnels and teleporter room?]
[Written | January 24th]
[ You certainly know what interests him, Ginia. ]
[Written | January 24th]
[Written | January 24th → Action | January 25th?]
[ And, true to his word, there he is the next day, fifteen minutes early and standing rather than sitting as he waits. ]
[Action | January 25th]
She greets Erwin with a smile and a friendly wave, offering the bag. Warm croissants and fresh blueberry muffins, you know you want one.]
[Action | January 25th]
Erwin can say this much, at least: as suspicious of it as he remains, the food here in Luceti certainly tastes better than the military rations at home. ]
It smells wonderful. Thank you.
[Action | January 25th]
I have something to ask you and Levi. It's entirely optional, but it would be beneficial to me and of possible use to the two of you.
[Action | January 25th]
Of course. I am always interested in your suggestions, Ginia. What is it?
[Action | January 25th]
I've been helping the Welcome Center stock the new feather stations out in the woods once a week. I already did it this week so it's set, but would you two mind helping me out next week? There are two south of the village in the woods and two in the north, closer to the farmlands and mountains.
It takes me half a day on horseback so splitting the task would be helpful.
[Ginia's not sure how much Erwin knows about the area surrounding the village, so it's either known knowledge or an enticing bit of information and offer to explore.]
[Action | January 25th]
[Action | January 25th]
[Action | January 25th]
[Action | January 25th]
[Action | January 25th]
[Action | January 25th]
[Action | January 25th]
[Action | January 29th]
[Action | January 29th]
[Action | January 29th]
[Action | January 29th]
[Action | January 29th]
[Action | January 29th]
[Action | January 29th]
[Action | January 29th]
[Action | January 29th]
[ action | snapshots throughout february ]
It's why Kakashi goes up to the roof often, usually to have a drink or two. Even in the dead of winter, he escapes from his apartment to spend some time watching the quiet village. Looking up at stars that aren't really stars.
Tonight isn't any different. Kakashi has a glass of shochu, and had brought up the bottle as well. He stands near the ledge, one hand resting on the cold concrete, next to the uncapped bottle, and takes a slow sip from the glass. ]
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He stills, however, when he steps outside. Kakashi's back is distinctive enough that he recognizes him immediately, and the bottle next to him indicates that he is likely here to unwind. ]
Good evening, Commander. [ Erwin's boots tap against the rooftop as he takes a step forward, closing the door after him. ] I hope I'm not interrupting.
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If I was worried about being interrupted, I probably would've stayed inside instead of coming up here.
[ In other words: you're not interrupting at all. ]
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[ Especially not in such cold weather. Erwin is bundled in the winter coat he's been wearing over his uniform on particularly cold days. ]
Would you accept mine?
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[ Kakashi says lightly, as he turns towards Erwin, two fingers dangling the bottle in offering. ]
Drink?
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No, thank you. [ He adds, to ensure that Kakashi doesn't feel slighted by his refusal: ] I very rarely drink.
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[ Kakashi's maybe a touch surprised, but his arm withdraws and he sets the bottle back down on the surface of the ledge. ]
Any particular reason, or do you just dislike the taste?
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But what keeps him from accepting Kakashi's offer most is also what keeps him from doing much of anything else for himself that one could consider recreational: in his heart, he doesn't believe that he deserves happiness, or even so much as a brief reprieve. How could he possibly reward himself when he has been personally responsible for so much grief?
When it comes down to it, Erwin Smith doesn't like Erwin Smith very much. He has a hard time accepting good things for himself, let alone doing them. It's like pulling teeth to get him to readily enjoy something for his own sake.
He dosn't begrudge Kakashi in the least for doing so, however. While they are both commanders, they are different men, with different circumstances. It isn't for Erwin to decide what another man should or wants to do for himself. ]
It just doesn't hold much appeal for me.
[ His expression remains neutral, though he shifts his gaze from Kakashi down to the ground below, though there isn't much to look at when the village is dark. ]
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[action | their apt after the College AU event]
It's a little difficult to reconcile all at once. His eyes had gone straight to Erwin's arm and his lips had gone tight and silent, all the way back to where their previous home in Luceti had once been. It's still available, as Ginia had thankfully assured them, and as soon as they're both through the door Levi locks it, and moves to put both their journals in the spare room and closes the door behind him.
He moves back into the kitchen, wordlessly, taking a glass from the cupboard and filling it with water at the sink. He rarely drinks, if he can help it, but right now he's sorely tempted to find something strong.
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Erwin sits there for a moment, on the edge of his bed, as he listens to the sound of running water in the kitchen. He remembers Luceti well, though it has been some time, for him, since his departure. There are more important things to discuss with Levi at the moment than the way they'd woken this morning together on the sofa, Erwin's arm curled tight around Levi's waist--more important things than the lingering smell of Levi's soap on the bedsheets, or the way that he remembers so clearly looking at him last night, more drunk than he's been in fifteen years, meeting his eyes and then kissing his mouth, uncaring and heedless of who might see, or what it might mean for them.
He'd decided the last time they were here that it couldn't mean anything. They'd agreed on that. But Luceti, it seems, has other ideas.
Erwin stands after a moment, going to the closet to retrieve a fresh change of clothes, though he'll wait until after he's washed to put them on. He instead sets them on the bed before joining Levi in the kitchen, taking a glass for himself and filling it with water as well before leaning back against the counter.
"How are you feeling, Levi?"
He's speaking softly, but his words still sound too loud and too hollow in the mostly-empty room.
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The forces in Luceti seem to not give a shit about it, though. It's impossible to ignore now - especially when he can still very clearly remember the warmth of Erwin's chest pressed to his back that morning.
He swallows, closes his eyes and takes another three gulps of water.
"...like I need a stronger drink."
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He finishes his water before he says anything else, attempting to stay a rapidly worsening pounding in his head. He hasn't felt like this since he was a trainee. The empty glass clinks when he sets it down on the counter beside him.
"What do you last recall from home this time?"
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Levi's beginning to think that might need to change.
His glass is empty, so he refills it, taking a moment to think over Erwin's question. Much had happened since the last time he'd been here, and that is clearly true for Erwin as well, given that his arm is now missing. It's entirely possible that their positions may be switched, now, and Erwin may have memories of events that haven't yet happened for Levi. For all they knew, there could be weeks or months or even years separating them.
Finally turning to look at Erwin since they entered the apartment, he gives him a long, measuring look before answering.
"My squad is currently tracking down where Eren and Historia are being held after they were captured." He pauses, as though he thinks better of what he's about to say, and says it anyway.
"And I heard you were about to be hanged."
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"You heard correctly." He meets Levi's eyes directly now that Levi is finally looking at him. He doesn't want to leave any room for doubt between them. "It hasn't happened yet, but certain officials are determined to see it done very soon--momentarily, in fact." His hand reaches up, thumb brushing along the line of his cheek to the skin around his left eye, still swollen. It's improved, he thinks, and the cuts on his face have all closed, but he certainly doesn't look as he had this last week. He had been healed only for the duration of the shift, it seems. Though he makes no comment about it, it is obvious that he hasn't been well treated during his imprisonment.
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There's so much tension in him that his shoulders begin to ache, and he finally drops his eyes. He folds his arms across his chest, jaw tight as though wired shut. Words seem to stick in his mouth, not trusting himself to speak.
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Erwin doesn't want to die, but he will do so without hesitation if he must. Not only does Levi realize this, but Erwin knows that he feels the same way.
There is still a chance, however, that a plan Erwin had set in motion some time ago may yet prove fruitful--but there is no way to tell, and Erwin doesn't want to give Levi false hope. Instead he approaches Levi, lays his hand on his shoulder. "Levi," he murmurs, but nothing else. They need to talk. If Levi makes himself distant over this, that won't happen.
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